On my way to a trip to the mountains, I was late. My friend who invited me and all her friends were furious, they told me they’re leaving me behind. If I still wanted to join, I’d better be on the next bus. I was a few blocks away when I got the message. The traffic stopped moving 30 minutes ago so I decided to walk. When I got to the bottleneck. There were lots of people. Someone just died. I don’t know if the person took his/her life or it was an accident. I don’t really care. I’m more concerned about getting to the bus. But on my way up the foot bridge, I kept hearing “Nagkalat yung utak sa kalsada” which means “brains all over the pavement”. I wanted to ask. I didn’t stop to. Soon it may be my brains all over the pavement.
I tell my mom every time I take my bike out, that just in case I don’t come back, “I love you” then I hug her. She gets furious. I worry less about it these days. I get peace of mind knowing I did not hold back.
Life is short. People say focus on the future. Some say focus on the present. The past ten years of my life were spent worrying about the future. I hated most of my life except for a few small parts. Those few small parts I eventually lost. I keep forgetting that soon it may be my brains all over the pavement. In case it happens next week or a month from now how do I want to look at my life?
I want to encourage you to look at both but live in the present. Be mindful of your life. Be mindful of your remaining time. It’s okay to ditch other distractions. The reason why trying to please everybody is a formula for failure is you end up allocating valuable resources like time, money and attention from activities and people that make you happy and spend it on people and activities that make you un happy or less happy or promise to make you happy in the future.
In any case, I have to take the bike again to buy groceries for this week. I’m trying to get more vegetables to my body. I eat a lettuce with some almonds on my salad or a combination of carrots, cucumber and tomatoes for my lunch. Ever since then my attention and sleep had gotten better. I haven’t been depressed since my last post and had been performing exceptionally well at work.
"I'm very particular about what I put into my body, so I end up preparing most meals myself" - Hannibal Lecter
So just in case I don’t get to write my next post. Here’s a virtual hug and I love you.