January seems to be a month of blessings, miracles and heartbreak for me. When the blessings and miracles came I was grateful at the moment or maybe throughout the day. When the heartbreak came I prayed to God all the time. I heard at church that pain is God’s megaphone and that it should cause me to listen to Him more. I don’t understand it yet but I’ll continue to trust Him more. I’ll do so a I continue to show up everyday. I hope that in the future I’d be able to look back at this moment and understand. I used to think that what’s (insert sacrifice or pain or what I had to give up) compared to receiving my goal? Right now, as much as I’d like to I can’t because my hope to get Ish back doesn’t seem to die. I hope God changes the situation or changes me soon. Despite all this, I am thankful because this had increase my faith that God is in control. I know He does things with my best interest at heart so as much as I would be hard for me to, I’ll sit back and wait for His next move.