Are you a dangerous person?
I’ve avoided conflict most of my life, and as a result, it hurt my personal relationships, career, and my finances without me realizing it.
I’ve always looked down and tried to become as invisible as possible.
I had this strong feeling that people looked down on me despite my various personal and financial successes.
I back down when there’s a hint of tension or potential conflict.
I don’t negotiate and have always allowed others to take advantage of me.
The word “always” isn’t an exaggeration.
I’ve adapted belief systems and twisted the message into one where my complete agreeableness and non-assertiveness are “the right thing to do.”
Self-denial drove me to a point where I began gravitating toward anti-human belief systems like nihilism, veganism, and extreme environmentalism.
Humans are the cancer of the planet, God’s mistake, and there’s no hope.
I stopped eating meat, tried to become more invisible, and sunk into a deeper depression.
I don’t even remember why I bothered to solve the depression, but I remember being in so much pain that I was looking for a way for it to stop.
I listened to a Tony Robbins and Tim Ferriss interview about manipulating your mental state by adjusting your body’s physical status.
Physically smiling, straightening my back, and long deep breaths started my journey.
I felt a little better.
I began exercising in a CrossFit gym, cycling long distances, and eating a more balanced diet.
I increased my meat intake, and my smoking and alcohol consumption dropped.
I became increasingly functional.
I went from minimum wage to an income that I, myself respect.
I studied boxing, Muay Thai, and now Jiujitsu.
I channeled all my hate and resentment into exercising and learning new skills.
I tested myself in a tournament and took home two silver medals.
I now worry less.
If push comes to shove, I know I can fight.
My confidence in myself and my ability to solve problems has increased.
I studied negotiation in 2019 but failed.
I was thinking about the reason.
My ability to say no, fuck you, there will be consequences, and I will hurt you if you try to screw me is non-existent.
I had zero ability to dish out consequences if anyone tried to screw me.
I was a weak victim of a human being.
My ability to follow through and deliver the consequence.
I used my empathy to start imagining what it’s like on the other side of the negotiation table.
What do people I’ve negotiated with have that makes me not want to screw them?
There’s an element that “they’re good to me,” but it’s not just that.
I’ve always been that, but I’ve also been screwed, so there’s something else.
I rack my brain.
I wouldn’t want to cross the other party because they could hurt me financially, physically or damage my reputation.
I realized that offensive capability needed to be added to my negotiation.
The funny thing is I had this ability earlier in life but let go of it in exchange for pursuing my sales career and eventually “Christian living.”
I rose and fell as I pursued disarming and defanging myself.
You need to be fit to fight.
You need to be competent.
You need to be combat competent.
Then your confidence will increase, and your anxiety will decrease.
My problems haven’t left but I know I can fight, wrestle, and strangle them to death.
Just like I can effortlessly do anyone who tries to screw me.
Remember, your combat competence is about more than physical strength — it’s about self-assurance, resilience, and the belief in your ability to overcome adversity.
Thank you for reading.
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