Today seems to be a turning point. I’m not sure if you can call this a breakthrough. In the past few months I underwent the book of Job. I don’t mean reading it. I meant going through it. I feel like the main character in the story. I do not consider myself like Job but I seem to have understood him more by experiencing what seems to be a similar chain of events. My experience was not of biblical proportions but it seemed to be closer than anything biblical I can remember.
- My partner and I broke up.
- A very special friend passed away (future step dad)
- My mom lost her job.
- The company I work for shut down.
- A visitor from hell entered me through my mouth in a form of an impacted wisdom tooth that caused an infection that paralyzed my jaw for a few weeks and I couldn’t open my mouth to eat or talk.
- My laptop broke down.
- People who owe me money are suddenly disappearing.
- And a whole bunch of things too disgusting to mention here.
I felt like I’m going to lose my mind from it. Every event occurred a week after the other. I never got the chance to digest and assess the situation properly because of things happening too fast.
I wanted to just curse God and die.
Everything God has given, he has taken away.
My favorite bible verses last year was from Isaiah 43 (Paraphrased) When you pass through waters, I will be with you and they will not sweep over you. You will walk through fire and not get burned. The flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God. You are precious in my sight and because I love you. When I act none can reverse it.
My wall of protection seemed to have been removed at this point.
An emotional whirlwind of anger, hate, acceptance, forgiveness, and depression soon followed.
I want to become darkness.
What stopped me is that I knew that I was not.
These things happen and it’s a waste of time if I look around trying to blame somebody or something else. If the wall of protection and floods of blessings are not present maybe it’s pulled out for maintenance. Or maybe I don’t really need it. I’ve been given a lot of blessings. Maybe it’s time I used that instead of waiting for future blessings. A great director (that would be God) knows when support needs to arrive for the main character (that would be me) in an adventure film (that would be my life story).
I’m happy to share that things are now turning up. I received a major upgrade. (which I’ll talk about in the next posts) I’m on my way to start working on something new. I started working on a new job.